Report by George Cordal
The HELL of the Ashdown sportive, it can't be that bad can it?
The home of pooh bear does not necessarily conjure up images of Satan's fiery inferno, so where does the hell bit come from? Actually, you'll find it about half way round the course...but more of that later.
The morning of the hell ride started pleasantly enough, with no hint of the devilishness that was to come but cold enough to require anti bits-freezing garms. Viv and I parked a mile or 2 from the HQ where we met Will and had a short ride in. HQ was surprisingly full of other nutters signing on for the ride, some of whom were also representing the 'Mitre massive', Rupert, Tim, Gianfranco and Nick Herbert all had the same daft idea of cycling up a bunch of hills on a freezing cold day in January.
Viv, Will and I were given the same start group and before long we were off. It's not far from the start in Knockholt to the first of the hills, 'Star Hill'. Thankfully its a descent, which my mind refused to acknowledge as something I would be cycling 'up' 104kms later.
The first few miles after this were pleasant enough and we even had a car come along side to discuss the benefits of self-pleasure or something like that, from his hand signals it looked like our group had delayed him slightly, and he couldn't wait to get back home and make a start, he was well keen!
Not long after this, our group settled into a rhythm and slowly started to crank it up (thanks Will!), a bit too fast for me considering the distance but at the time I felt OK, until we hit the first real hill (Toys Hill) about 15km in. I've been up this hill before in a Trailbreak sportive and didn't think much of it, but this time round I was in a Mitre-led group travelling at warp speed. I held on until about halfway up, where I blew spectacularly and had to move to one side to perform a 'full speed reverse' through the group. It's amazing how fast you can travel backwards whilst still going forwards!
I recovered slightly and got on with it, a few miles down the road after some nice muddy lanes I hooked up with Will and Viv again who had been waiting for me, obviously keen to kick my arse again. I foolishly agreed and then hung on to the back of another Mitre-led group until the next hill, which was hollow lane at about the 30km mark. This time I took it slow and watched the Mitre train turn on the hyperdrive and disappear into another dimension (towing some grateful riders). We'd agreed they shouldn't wait as I hadnt had a warp drive fitted so I trundled out the next few miles at a steady pace.
The next section rolled along some lovely lanes near East Grinstead, slowly winding itself to Hartfield, and then onto Colemans Hatch where I knew what was waiting...Kidds Hill, commonly known as 'The Wall'. It's a very steep gradient, which you don't see when you first start climbing. The first part of the hill out of Colemans Hatch is bad enough, but the 'real' hill doesn't show itself until after a slight left turn, it's so steep, it erm....looks like a Wall!
Loads of riders were spread all over it crawling slowly up, luckily the first checkpoint (50km) was at the top, one of the highest sections in Ashdown forest, with great views of the forest and a chance of a breather. No sign of pooh bear, but I was starting to get the whole 'Hell' thing. A short blast along the top of the forest and then an amazingly long descent (must have been a few miles) towards Groombridge. I was glad I wasn't going the other way.
The climb through Groombridge is steep and steady, but the miles and hills were starting to take their toll. My beer & takeout winter training regime wasn't quite panning out as I'd hoped, and my other training mantra of "its only 100km" wasn't working either. Nevermind, nothing a few Mars bars couldn't sort out. I got some at the 'feed' stop (70km) which is not a bad idea for a sportive of this size, keep the entry cost down and provide a burger van, you pay for grub but get a free tea, sorted. Bumped into Viv again at the burger van looking remarkably fresh, but pretending to be 'feeling it'. He carried on whilst I dined on Mars bars and watched the Rapha-Condor team cruise by, presumably to their own gold-plated Rapha burger van round the corner.
Fueled up, I was ready for the next biggie, Ide Hill. The Mars bar fuel ran out quick so I was back to the clinging on and crawling method that had got me here. What followed was lots of rolling hills toward the last checkpoint, which came quite near the end. There were only a few more miles and Star Hill left.
At the foot of the hill and with nearly 100km in my legs, I was thanking the Lord that I'd signed up for such a lovely ride, in particular, this hill. Every turn of the pedals up that sod resulted in a tiny mental breakdown, I was so glad that there was a photographer there to capture it. A picture I will be purchasing shortly to show my children what a stupid person on a bike looks like.
Catford CC have done a great job of organising this ride, the marshaling, signposting and route were spot on. Top marks to them, I'll be signing up for some more Hell next year!
Back in February, Ben, Kevin, Jay and Rupert went for a cobbly weekend to the continent. Saturday was to be all the hills of the RvF, Sunday all the cobbled bits of the Paris Roubaix. It was a great idea, magnificently planned by Ben and thwarted by others.
Sunday dawned and we hardly noticed as the fog was so thick. We rode in 50m visibility for most of the day, doing a few unintended sections of pave due to the now familiar navigational errors. There were moments when we felt like heros and moments when we just felt like blokes who had taken a wrong turning on the wrong bikes. You are going to enjoy it folks ! (More photos in the Mitre Album on the left)
